


How It Has to Be

by robronsugsy



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-23 13:30:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3770200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robronsugsy/pseuds/robronsugsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert has tried everything to get his life back on track with Chrissie, and after yet another failed attempt, Robert gets drunk alone in the back of the pub.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not been working on fics the last few days cause honestly the episodes have pissed me off so much I can't just go back and write soppy, fluffy, lovey-dovey stuff now :P 
> 
> Feel free to talk to me or message me with ideas on Twitter @robronsugsy or on Tumblr at http://www.robronsugsy.tumblr.com/

It was his sixth beer. Or was it his seventh? Robert stopped counting after the 3rd and the... maybe it was the 4th whiskey?

The day had been long and stressful, and not in the day full of meetings kind of long and stressful. Robert stroked his throat gently, still slightly sore from all the shouting he'd been doing earlier that day. Robert was too impatient for the "give her some space" option, and he wasn't about to let Chrissie go, so Robert instead went to the "shout at the top of his lungs outside her house" option which had provided no results other than a furious and suspicious Lawrence asking him what the hell had he done to be thrown out and Lachlan sneering and giggling from his bedroom window at the spectacle Robert had been showing. Robert loved Chrissie and her throwing him out had left him devastated.

He'd been living at the pub ever since - much to his annoyance, due to the fact that not only did the woman he tried to have killed a few weeks back live there, filled with anger and hate for him but also the fact that his secret gay lover was there and had avoided him at all costs too. So much so, that Robert had only seen him a handful of times, he'd just hear from Diane that Aaron and Chas would go for drinks in Hotten or he'd bunk at Adams, when he wasn't throwing himself into work, which Robert was sure was because of his presence in his home. Robert would be bothered if it wasn't for the huge deep pit of despair he'd been feeling since he'd been kicked out. Aaron wasn't his priority and that's the way it would stay from now on.

 

Robert didn't regret having the affair, not really. He couldn't deny that the whole thing had excited him, comforted him and made him happy - well, when they weren't covering up the accidental death of his brother's wife, stopping said brother from topping himself and then stopping the person he was having an affair with from doing the same thing. But he certainly regretted how much it'd taken up his life. When Robert looked back he realized at everything he'd done to be with Aaron. The fake meetings, fake conferences, fake break-downs, the list goes on of things he'd done, neglecting his wife in the process. Sure being with Aaron was when he was most comfortable, most happy and was the only time he could be himself, or at least the most honest version of himself he'd allow ANYONE to see, but Chrissie WAS his life, and he never pretended or acted otherwise. Aaron had taken too much space, and it was time that Chrissie came back into his life and took some of that space back.

 

Robert was just about to swill back the last of his beer when the door to the pub back room swung open.

Aaron and Robert shared a quick glance before Robert looked into his now empty beer glass, while Aaron sighed silently and walked upstairs. Neither of them had spoken to each other for weeks now, not properly anyway. Not since Robert stood Aaron up after organizing what could of been a great night for the pair of them a few weeks back, when Donny had turned up and caused havoc for Robert by just _being_ there. Robert did 100% regret cancelling it - or rather just not going and failing to tell Aaron, because the hurt in Aaron's eyes when he saw the two sat at the bar, moments before he decided to bottle another man would be imprinted on his brain for some time. But the way Robert looked at it, is that he'd let Chrissie down SO many times for Aaron, it being the other way round for once wouldn't of been terrible. Aaron should of understood, Robert told himself. He had spoken to Aaron once or twice after that, but it was never anything that stuck.


	2. Chapter 2

Robert had gone and got another beer - which was quite easy due to the fact Chas wasn't about to stop him potentially drinking himself to death, and returned to his spot on the sofa before he heard the jumbled footsteps of Aaron struggling to descend the stairs with his still fragile ankle. Aaron entered the room quickly, walked over to the cabinet and pulled something out, before heading back to the door.

 

"Off out are we?" Robert slurred as he gulped a dose of his new beer.

"What's it to you?" Aaron grumbled back, obviously in no mood to deal with obviously drunk Robert.

Robert tutted. "Always so hostile aren't we? I was only asking."

Aaron scoffed before continuing to walk to the door.

"Not gonna ask me to join?"

"I think you're having a party all of your own here."

"Yeah well, it's not like I've got anyone to talk to have I?"

Aaron's face weakened. Despite the anger and pain he felt towards the man for his actions recently, he didn't like anyone talking about being lonely, not when he felt like that all too often.. well, always in fact.

"Who's faults that? Last time I checked you've got a step-mum, a brother and a sister who would be more than willing to be there for you if you stopped been an arsehole and let them."

"Like they'd give a fuck about my problems, no one gives two shits."

"Whatever. Have a nice night."

 

Robert got up from his seat and stood a few meters away from Aaron.

"So where you going?"

"Again... What's it to you?"

"I see. Going on the 'pull' I presume."

"It's really non of your business."

Robert scoffed. "You do realize that I don't care? You can bring back whatever guy you want and I'm not gonna be jealous?"

"Nice to know."

"I mean, I know exactly why you'd be doing it, cause you'd think it would bother me but it won't."

"You're so full of yourself."

"COME ON AARON! We both know that's why you're doing it!"

 

Aaron was beginning to tremble with anger.

"It's not actually. You know why I'm doing it? Because I'm trying to have a fraction of a normal life where I don't hate my very existence! Trying to find someone who actually has genuine feelings for me and isn't just using me to satisfy their own needs. Someone who can stop me feeling like something you find on the bottom of your shoe!"

Pain and guilt washed over Robert's face, but as quick as it appeared, it quickly disappeared and turned into a sneer.

"Well I hope your very happy with whatever his name will be, you go off and have a happy ever after now you've ruined my life!"

Aaron stood back in shock.

"You what?! How the hell did I ruin your life?! Last time I checked, you were the one who forced me and Ross into doing the raid, and that was before an 'us' was ever in the equation."

"I'm not TALKING about THAT though am I?!"

No he wasn't, and that became clear to Aaron - Robert wasn't having a go for the raid, but probably something else. It didn't make sense how he was somehow connecting whatever his problem was at the moment with loosing Chrissie - Aaron was pretty sure that was down to Robert and the whole "organizing a robbery" - but he was sure the alcohol probably made some sort of fucked up connection for him.

"Go on then, I'm all ears, tell me how I ruined your life!"

"You had to be so damn mysterious and interesting, that I HAD to figure you out! You had to be so damn attractive and irresistible that I COULDN'T keep away! You had to be so fucking understanding and nice to me that I HAD to fall in love with YOU!"

Angry tears had now begun streaming down Robert's face, while Aaron stood in a daze of shock and pain.

"So now, I've lost the most important person in my life. My wife, the person I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with, because I neglected her and pushed her aside for YOU!"

"You're drunk Robert, you're not even making any sense!"

"Because what part of the last 5 months has made any sense eh Aaron?!"

 

Aaron looked away and then back at him.

 

"Don't sit around here then, go and get her if she means so much to you!"

Robert's anger turned into a look of despair and upset, he gulped hard before opening his mouth again.

"But.... I don't wanna lose you either...."

"What?"

"I know how this ends. I know that if I go back to Chrissie... you'll not come back to me again..a-and I don't want that."

Aaron turned away to not allow Robert to see the tears forming in his eyes.

"Because that's how it has to be right? If I'm back with Chrissie... I can't come back to be with you because now I know what it's like to lose her, it's the worst feeling in the world. And it's killing me inside."

Aaron shut his eyes tightly, trying not to let the words hit him like a dagger in the heart.

"Well then you know what you want. You'll get over it, you're good at that."

Maybe it was the alcohol that was making this conversation seem so fucked up and confusing - to both of them. But those words, they hurt Robert more than he thought they could. Aaron sighed shakily before walking towards the door again, not looking at Robert as he did so.

"Please Aaron, I need you! I can't loose you too!"

Aaron halted on the spot, still refusing to turn and look at him in the face, not with the tears streaming down his face that told the exact opposite of what he was telling Robert.

"That's the thing with affairs Robert... I was never yours to loose."

 

Aaron left the room, shutting the door quietly. Robert stood in the same spot just trembling, then he thought to himself.

 

_Huh. There was a worse feeling than loosing Chrissie._


End file.
